Boo the Loner

"Going to the movies by yourself is creepy," I once heard someone say. I, of course, told the movie theater cashier how wrong he was and took my ticket. The movie was a delight. Thank you very much.

This pervasive attitude in our society towards "loners" or those who participate in tasks we typically associate with more than one person is a bit confusing to me. Many Americans would rather stay at home, rather than enjoying a restaurant meal, going to a party or a ball game, or watch a movie by themselves.

Oddly enough, even these stay-at-home-and-pout people are also labeled "loners." Our culture sure has something against the citizen who buys TV dinners for one. Matchmaking services abound, reminding us our soulmate is out there, so go find them now! The lifelong bachelor is at times admired by men who wish for such relationship freedom, and swooned over by women who like the unattainable man, but more often felt pity by those who already have a partner. The bachelorette is even worse off, having to fend off pressures from many venues to get married and settle down-how it is supposed to be.

Loners in high school are shunned by the rest of the students. At the same time, people in the workplace see loners as the likeliest employee to go postal. Hardly ever do you see romantic comedies that end by leaving the single man and woman, well, single. It appears to be anathema to our culture to let people be lonely.

Of course, we human beings are social animals in the need of interactions with other beasts of our kind. Chatting or grinding it up with other people is perfectly human (and at times a bit graphic). But does this go against our homegrown idea of the American Dream? We, as a culture, are taught that the American Dream is what every citizen strives for, to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps.

The self-made man or woman is often the greatest figure of admiration. I have to figure that sometime during that triumphant voyage to the top this figure of admiration might have fit the "loner" status. I am sure these people did things by themselves, solved their own problems, motivated themselves, and probably went to a couple of restaurants by themselves to mull in their thoughts.

So then, why do they not suffer the wrath as does the guy who loves to read in the corner of Barnes and Noble? It might have to do with how they present themselves.

An air of confidence and success separates the self-made American from the loner. Nice slacks and a $100 haircut do not hurt either. If you win, you are no longer a loner, but the embodiment of the American Dream. If you do not succeed, then start dressing in black and pout.

This is unfair. There is no doubt. Your value as a person goes back to what you have or do, not what you are.

Shouldn't the loner be accepted as a part of the American Dream? Do these two ideas go well together? It is worth analyzing if this odd relationship is indicating: a) hypocrisies in our culture, b) the American Dream is actually a fabricated illusion, or c) All of the above. Of course, you can add d) none of the above, but I am afraid you would be by your lonesome on that one.